This Holy Longing

the monk cell door is ajar

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10/21/13 11:11 am - MASTER FIC LIST

Disclaimer - Other than the original fics, none of these characters belong to me - I'm only playing with what is so generously given to the universal subconscious. Thank you, creators!

( This Skull Theatre )

11/20/09 09:40 am

Title: And This Dark Will Become The Light
Author: zagzagael
Characters: Dean/Sam, Jo, Ellen, Bobby, Castiel
Rating: G
Wordcount: 850
Disclaimer: Only playing with what Kripke has shared. No profit, no ownership.
Summary: Spoilers 5.10. Directly after Castiel takes them from the ritual for the raising of the Angel of Death.

( And This Dark Will Become The Light )

11/19/09 05:05 am

* Got both Deaf Studies classes! ASL and History of Deaf Culture! Very, very excited. Now to wait....three months. But that's okay, too. Gives me time to figure out how I'm going to make returning to school work with the domestic goddess gig. The Viking can be....difficult....when it comes to changes in routines.

* Having major dental work done and it's so not fun. Two hours yesterday, late afternoon, and I came home completely drained. I've got another hour this morning. But for all that, I am thrilled.

* Kindle for the pc may be the answer - I am going to look closer at this option for my touchscreen laptop!!!

* Watched "Children of a Lesser God" last night and it's good. Good. Funny how Hurt was a hot commodity back in the 80's. He was, actually, cute in a puppyish way in that film...but there's a cat who just hasn't aged well. Matlin is still beautiful, though.

* Supernatural tonight! I've stayed away from spoilers this week, but the gist of it all sounds as though we're back on track for the Apocalypse. Please, please let the stupidity be over.

* If folks on the flist aren't watching the astonishing "Sons of Anarchy" I'd like to know why. It rocks and rolls.

* A million small errands to run - hate being devoured by the minutiae - and then it's back to NaNo.

* Yes, some dolls are ugly. To me. Key words there - ugly. to. me.

11/17/09 09:53 am

Title: Roadhouse Blues
Author:

zagzagael
Characters: Dean/Sam, Jo
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 2100
Disclaimer: Only playing with what Kripke has shared. No profit, no ownership.
Summary: S2

( Roadhouse Blues )

11/16/09 07:28 am

What I'm not writing for NaNoWriMo this year, which then begs the question, if I'm not writing it, why did I just pen this? You see how my Muse taunts...and distracts?

( The Woodcutter's Daughter )

11/11/09 09:51 am

*facepalm* I know, I know. I'm supposed to be nano-ing....but am still stuck on POV. So I took this small hiatus back into the boys.....

Title: Something Broken
Author: zagzagael
Pairings: Dean/Sam
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1700
Disclaimer: Only playing with what Kripke has shared. No profit, no ownership.
Summary: S1

“This you have to understand. There's only one way to hurt a man who's lost everything. Give him back something broken.” ~ Stephen R. Donaldson

( Something Broken )

11/7/09 10:00 am

For kittymaru who believes as much as I do that some angels are horned....

( The Most Beautiful Demon )

11/6/09 05:34 pm

* A quick, flisty update. Took kidling back down the hill today to see the GP and the look on his face when he peered insider her throat was not good. He was visibly disappointed and concerned. Said some folks just don't "rally" as quickly as others with mono. She's on pain killers now....and the flist probably remembers my own dark wrestling with that myself before my surgery last spring....I'm not happy but she needs something to get relief so she can swallow and eat. She's one sick kiddo. And she's been put on another week of bed rest. It's concerning and...

* And its pulling me out of my headspace. *shrug* But Life happens and so it goes. I'm worried and that stress is making me twitchy....so I'm reading instead of writing and tomorrow am dedicating to doll pix.

* "Signing the Body Poetic" is currently in rotation and I'm humbled and somewhat stunned. Things are becoming more and more clear for me regarding ASL and signing in general. We, as a human species evolving, need to augment, improve, add to our linguistic uniqueness with sign. The astonishing and amazing and validating resurgence in this intuitive language after the oppressive oralism of the past one hundred years is beyond thrilling. It. Just. Makes. Sense. Here's a Whitman quote that opens this astonishing book about the Art of Sign Language.

A song of the rolling earth, and of words according,
Were you thinking that those were the words, those upright lines?
those curves, angles, dots?
No, those are not the words, the substantial words are in the ground
and sea,
They are in the air, they are in you.

Were you thinking that those were the words, those delicious sounds
out of your friends' mouths?
No, the real words are more delicious than they.

Human bodies are words, myriads of words,
(In the best poems re-appears the body, man's or woman's,
well-shaped, natural, gay,
Every part able, active, receptive, without shame or the need of shame.)

Wow!!!

* Last night's brilliant Supernatural episode had me grinning like a monkey on crack. It was fantabulous!!!

* It's been raining for two days and that's making me happy, too.

11/4/09 05:43 am

Eldest has been diagnosed with mono. It's shifting what I'm doing on the homefront and will likely keep me busy for the next two weeks. Just an update.

10/31/09 04:43 pm

I ended up working all day down at the community building trying to get ready for this party tonight. Not much got done here, didn't finish the scarecrow, but here's a progress pic. I will return messages and do the things I need to do tomorrow. After I write my first 2000 words of NaNo. See you flist on the flip side - don't forget the clocks.

10/31/09 07:46 am

You will pee your pants. I'm not kidding. Courtesy

thistle_verse. :)

IT'S DECORATIVE GOURD SEASON, MOTHERFUCKERS.

10/29/09 10:37 am

Title: Blood
Characters/Pairing: Sam/Dean (wincest)
Theme: Table 03: Paranormal State
Prompt: 2. blood
Rating: G
Word Count: 300
Disclaimer: Only playing with what Kripke has generously given. Nothing belongs to me.
Summary: In the car, always in the car. Written for

agaitis_byrjun. XO.

( Our Blood Sin )

10/29/09 07:55 am

RIP Matthew Shepard

http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2009/10/28/about-whether-we-value-one-another

Finally, finally, finally.

If anyone on the flist hasn't read Hal Duncan, why not? The outrageously gifted gay Scottish author has written two books in which Shepard features prominently...."Vellum" (one of the most amazing books ever ever ever to be written in the history of writin' books and one of my top three favourites of all time all time all time!) and "Escape From Hell". Read these books.

"Do not walk away in sorrow. Do not be consoled. ~ Patricia Henley

10/27/09 04:48 pm

Title: Happy Anniversary
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating/Warnings: R, crack
Word Count: 381
Disclaimer: Only playing around. The boys *sobs* don't actually belong to me.
Summary: One year anniversary.

( Happy Anniversary, Baby! )

10/26/09 10:42 am

Hope Forlorn – for Sarah Graves

We had nine months to teach each other about flesh
How it locks together, joined as one, and the blood heats beneath the skin
The brain implodes within; the heart beats to a near bursting
And how it feeds what is between us.

My sister and I refused the last words on our father’s lips
frozen spittle, mouth rubbed with snow
Skin chapped and drawn tight over the bones.
We refused flesh of our flesh blood of our blood bone of our bone
Emptied by God we turned away, turned inward.

But not I you.

And did we not become one
Did I not take you inside of me and make your flesh my own?
You sustained me
Alive
And
In your death.
Beloved.

So hungry you would whisper
Voice choked with need
Of me.
So hungry for you.
In our bed
In our wagon.

So Hungry you prayed in your empty voice
The flesh I had tasted again and again
Given out in this bed of snow
I laid my own body down beside you
And hope was forlorn
On our way to God’s country.

We have to rethink God I whispered in my sister’s arms.
No we have to rethink Hell she answered.

The Literati book "Desperate Passage" about the Donner Party and the Forlorn Hope is kicking my emotional ass. I just wrote this poem. And it hurts. Yes, if you don't know Sarah's story....she did. She did. *weeps*

10/25/09 10:00 am

Barnes&Noble had a piss-poor selection of books on Deaf Culture. But they did have "Talking Hands" and it's proving to be a truly inspirational and insightful read. My attraction to the language is beginning to make sense now. I just finished a chapter on the history of ASL which has answered some of the questions I've been having about Contact Signing versus Sign Language. Of course Sign Language should not follow English grammar and CS is as awkward and inelegant as the broken attempt of the beginning student to shove English grammar into a Russian sentence, a Slavic language that is not a Romance language. ASL is not Romanic. However, it is HIGHLY poetic and symbolically metaphorical. It has a syntax and grammar which are both economical and beautifully sequential. And this is important because I think....in images, not in words. I think "subject" "descriptor" "feeling" "action/verb". This is an important distinction and one that writers have been discussing for millennia. Perhaps this is why I'm more drawn to a poetic prose, the poetic voice, than a sterile Third Person Omniscience. I know that there are many who think in words - this is a true, if completely astonishing to me, fact. Thinking in pictures is most probably why ASL is speaking to my heart.

With a bit of research, I've delightfully and a bit frighteningly - dare I disturb the Universe? My universe? - discovered that a junior college about two hours from here offers both a cc and an aa in Deaf Studies.

Thinking. Weighing. Pondering. Polishing the elusively misty looking glass.....

10/25/09 07:42 am - Fear, Prompt 1, Table 3

Title: Fear
Author: zagzagael
Characters/Pairing: Sam/Dean (wincest)
Theme: Table 03: Paranormal State
Prompt: 1. fear
Rating: G
Word Count: 700
Disclaimer: Only playing with what Kripke has generously given. Nothing belongs to me.
Summary: The Civil War, America, 1864
Warnings/Author Notes: Replying in my own ‘Verse – Sheath&Knife. An AU exploration of Sam and Dean’s relationship to one another throughout time. Character death.

( Sheath&Knife - Fear )

10/24/09 02:53 pm

I've got some SPN ficfans on the flist now....and until I can get filters back on the lj, I don't want to ~~scare the crap out of~~ spam non-doll folks with dolls. Eep! So, dolls behind the cut - a beyond amazing gift I was given this week *hugshugshugs* and a Pipos Dali who is for sale. In the meantime, "Love" prompt on DoA. Go do this.

( mmmm )

10/24/09 12:55 pm

*amuses self*

10/24/09 06:38 am

Drabble Prompt: By

queenklu Dean/Sam, movie date, smuggling food into the theater, popcorn winding up in uncomfortable places.

( Is that a Pack of Starburst in your Pocket...or.... )

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