This Holy Longing

*thunk* As per her usual, catcara has pwned me completely by finding this image. And I thought I knew Rackham!!! I'm thinking....that even though this satyr isn't fiercely horned and goateed, this image just....might....work as an upper arm tattoo. I'm going to bring it in with me when I see my artist and see what he thinks - if he can add a woodcut flair to it and beard and horn this boy! I want it complete - not with the trees - but with the swooning maiden and the book and yes yes yes! Not super hip to figures being seated....Thoughts? Thank you, C!

I'm gathering quite a bit of satyr material and if I ever figure out how to work my website....Yeah, still so not getting that. My problem is that I need something to build pages in....and then I need to figure out how to work the index, etc., because that's really where I'm getting hung up. Going to have to contact withinity again for a good long lesson! The Satyr Site must come to glorious hooved life!

Feeling incredibly frustrated and low this week. Black edges and all....and then I remembered that I'm trying to cut back on the Neurontin rather than going cold turkey when it runs out next week. I do see my surgeon next week...but I really don't want to be on any meds long term. Anyway, dark thoughts is one of the side affects....so I'm chalking my very dangerous mood up to that. *stabs*

Waiting to exhale on a few doll things. Yo addiction is full blown! And ideas are abounding like abounding dollplot bunnies! It's all about finding cash and keeping the word out there that I'm looking for ayumu. I've got some things in the works and it's quite exciting. Definitely going to shell the kids!

I've also listed the Heliot/Sard sale. He is such a compelling doll....but I cannot allow myself to be seduced. Focus focus focus <------- mantra.

Shout out to thistle_verse for the Sookie Stackhouse rec! Much fun there. I have found, the older I get, the more in need of entertainment, I have grown exceedingly forgiving with my prose exploits. Ten years ago I could not have read even two paragraphs of this sort of outing - yes, yes, serious Literature Snob. But this is grand fun and is easing my current Angry mind.

Happy Independence Day, fellow Americans!!!!

For kyotopunk. Even my dolls are more skully than you, L!!!! ;)



( Trickster and a Skull Scarf )

I am so so so in love with the LE GoGaDoll Golden Fer!!! I'd not ever even seen one of these in person before I plunked down a c-note and bought my own - I had NO IDEA!!!! These dresses are insane!!! Just utterly unbelievably insane. kittymaru and I are a petition of two to Dollheart to get a Dollshe-sized Fer. Although she has managed to wrestle the princely M into her Golden...it's way too small for the new DS bodies. As a matter of sad fact, the dress really is too tight for Masha's torso. But it's gorgeous!



Hee~! Check out my computer monitor reflected in the mirror. I've been just as sparked and inspired as the rest of the flist who went to GoGa and talked shop. I've commandeered the dining room table and am now using it for shoots. I can't believe how much more...immediate it is. I should have done this years ago. But there's my computer, in the kitchen.

Aack! I've gotten myself hooked on two chaptered slow burn fanfics and the wait for posting is....driving me around the twist! I'm also in over my head on my 2k slowburnette....it's going way way way over the word count and I just have no idea what it is! I'm having a strange experience with this and I hope the other writers find similar with their own undertakings - writing short original as though it were fanfic crack is opening up vistas hitherto unexplored. The words are just pouring....out. It's beyond interesting. Not sure if I've got anything worthwhile captured, but we'll be posting the fics soon! Join up if you're so inclined! No deadline yet, but the theme is "Fae."

Yo shopping is more fun than the tilt-a-whirl. I kid you not. I'm now flirting with the idea of shelling my own children when they were wee things. They most closely resembled...kuuata and tanpopo or yuh!!! Cheeks! *loves*

Still my OTD. Gods. He sits beside me here on the computer table, nude, articulated, ringed and flowered, legs crossed at the ankles, keeping watch. I love him. This is exactly what he looks like. It's okay for me to surround myself with nude, adult male resin. Right?

We still don't have a deadline. First one to post can choose the next theme! 1500 - 2000 word slowburnette challenge! I'm 1,090 words in after digitally crumpling the first attempt and tossing it into the wastebin. I hope the rest of you are thinking or writing or daydreaming about it!

zagzagael
whitemunin
neveridle
eveshka
mikononyte
thistle_verse

Ah, bullet lj posting.

* This has always been my favourite interpretation of the Goat-footed God - always always!!! I love that it's... a purchasable thing and I want to buy it....but I'm undecided....for myriad of reasons. Hmmm.....I need to commission an artist to take that smexy satyr and get him standing and create tattoo line art!

* Working on my 2000 word slowburnette. Not sure if it's moving towards the Desired End, but it's been really fun penning it. We've got a handful of Outstanding writers who are working on their ficlets, too. Feel free to join us!

* Feeling that Focus on the resin with even more clarity now. Several more dolls are going to be sold. I'm debating a fullset Volks SD17 Alain or parting out the Alain (I must keep the sleeveless hooded cape, I must, you see.), a Sard body with a horned Heliot blank head - a true heraldic unicorn - Elfdoll Lyn, and the Mink Woosoo. Step right up.

* It's hot, unbearably so - we're used to cool weather here in the mountains, but the insane 105 degree heat from the valley has been slowly creeping its way up here.

* Daughter wants a Quinto/Spock minimee head - what bodies work best for those? And I'm going to have to find a killer face-up artist willing to bring young Spock to life! Should we get ns or ws?

* Still squirming over the cuteness that is the yo!!! Sell me your yo!

* Current womyn heroes? Madonna for her commitment to her outrageous body! Robin McKinley for writing "Sunshine" when she was 51 years old!

* As ever, taking recs for smouldering fic and flick!

* Trying to write an email to my great friend, K, and failing because it's a gallon of Miss You.

* Actually feeling stronger! Not sure if it's the Neurontin or maybe *fingers crossed* resorption.

These masks are insanely cool - same STACEY gal who sells the little ball-jointed wings I use for Hades' horns! I've got an extra mask if anyone is interested and my son can grind off the teeth so your mask can be cool like mine.

Still....in longing. And so far, my search for the book or movie or fanfic that is going to satisfy....has been coming up zeroes. I do have one very, very strong lead - "Master of Crows" - and am anxiously awaiting its release date. Believe me, I know this author...and she EXCELS at the slow burn.

In the meantime....I know I've got more than a handful of wickedly talented writers on the flist. Anyone up for a challenge? Slow Burn isn't really possible - we're all working on our novels....But....a short....say 1,000 - 2,000 word count slowburnquickie is totally realistic, isn't it? And I know most of us are smexed up by anything paranormal....and we all need to dip into Original more than FanFic....and hell, a 1500 word ficlet is NOT going to impinge on your future publishing accountability. So hows about it?

Here's the theme - The Fae.

Your interp, your romance, your original charas. Smoulder us.

Anyone interested?

I'm going to go see my tattoo artist about shading the apples in the Tree of Knowledge red. I also want to add another Durer angel to the one already on my leg and then get some textual banding...a quote about angels....not sure exactly which one yet. Martin Luther most probably. And searching always for a smexy, woodcut-looking satyr.

~***~

I got ENABLED at GoGa - well that's what it's all about, right? I found myself completely drawn to....the Volks yos!!!! Played with an adorable Neon and I was just surprised at how hefty they are and the swaricco legs make them truly adorable! Plus - wee, childlike faces! So, I am shopping but counting my pennies, too - keep your eyes open flist for available yo-sds for me!

Home with a renewed sense of that Focus I was talking about last week. The Dollshe boys bring me so much....contentment and joy....I just think that so many of the other Big Boys here are going to have to go. I will very soon have a horned Heliot head, blank, on a Sard body - a true heraldic unicorn. And he can't stay - let me know if you're interested. My perfect deal would be trades for the new Dollshe - this pale tan Saint is making me want all resintones now! I want a pale tan DSAM32s body for my SA Saint head in pale tan....

Oh! And I got the Golden Fer - pictures soon! Speaking of pictures, I did get sparked over the con weekend....thinking about photos and poses and lighting. We all need to practice practice practice. I loved when armeleia and junkets assigned themselves daily colour prompts. I'm thinking this might be a good idea for me, too. Hopefully I can motivate myself.

~***~

An interesting thing about lj - if you filter a post it sometimes doesn't show up on the flist's flist for hours.

~***~

Re-reading Robin McKinley's "Sunshine". Much better the second time around. Yet it doesn't quite satisfy completely. I really thought she would have penned a sequel by now. For some reason I'm totally in longing for Romance - slow burn romance. Recs? (I need a Kindle.)

Well, I promised a Libertarian-based political rant....but I'm not going to rant today. And besides, the true thing is this, people do not want to read or listen to opposing viewpoints unless they just want to get angry and stomp away or get angry and stay and yell. How fun is that? I do want to state however, for any record that may be being kept, I do not oppose women working outside the home nor do I oppose *chortle* women being educated. What concerns me, and concerns me very, very deeply, is the subtleties of propaganda and how it worms its dark way into a culture. In third world countries there isn't propaganda as such because ragtag armies just jackboot their ways into villages and homes and murder civilians and execute free-thinkers and install dictators and that's just that. We don't live, thank the gods and goddessess, in those places, so Propaganda is the tool used here to "control" the masses. Think it's not affecting you? Think again. How on Earth do modern day folks believe that an entire country of educated, intelligent, cultured people came to believe that an entire race of educated, intelligent, cultured people should be eradicated? That wasn't done with the butt end of a rifle until after the propaganda had already spread its evil arms. And of course I don't believe that Americans are being mind-groomed for that sort of horrorshow - at all! - however, the subtle uses of Propaganda in the ways and means of convincing citizens that we should give up our rights....is a very real possibility in today's climate of socialism.  A type of socialism that is frighteningly one step away from Communism. These Ideologies have proven heartbreakingly ineffective. These political ideologies have soul-damaged entire countries and countless individuals. Again, think I'm being reactionary? Most of the flist are heavily into fiction - there is fiction out there wherein these political movements have been brilliantly explored:  Anthem, We The Living, The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, 1984, Animal Farm by George Orwell, the Borg by Star Trek writers,  Treason by Ann Coulter, The Gulag Archipelago by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, The Road to Serfdom by FA Hayek, Vampire Nation by Thomas Sipos....That's the smallest taste just out of the top of my head.

So, back later with a happyhappyjoyjoy post about...oh, dolls, and photography, and children, and Vikings....

This is my most beautiful Tanned Saint - face-up by thelyn! I got to pick him up at GoGa - he is beyond the beyonds!!! Thank you, Lyn!

( Another Gorgeous Saint Joins the Flock )

I'm returned home. And have rested. And .... am now melancholy about my wonderful busy weekend being over. Coming home has been a bit like coming down.

Will post tomorrow, not sure if I've got any photos worth sharing, do have some stories worth telling, but some stories belong to others. Overall, the event was very, very well done and very satisfying! Saw so many friends and of course there is never never never enough time.

Anyone on the flist ever see "The Importance of Being Morrissey"?

I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be for GoGa. Sadly, I'm not as excited as I normally would be about a weekend in the big city...with a bunch of folks just as crazy as I am....and working a two-hour Photography Panel....because of the insane amount of pain I'm in. Damn.

Damn.

That's all I can say about that.

I know people want to see the new Dollshe. I will have one there, I don't think I'll be bringing my OTD as I just cannot carry anything....more than what I have to carry. So, really the question is:  doll or camera? ;)

Moving into a zen place....not sure if I'll post again today. Off to town for a while. Post Office and Copy Store.

Mmmmm....still....my OTD. Gods, I love him. And now he's sitting here wearing kittymaru's favourite Anotherspace shirt (Sell me all your Anotherspace, please!) and a skull Anotherspace beanie....and he's resin love!!! I seriously need to learn how to bodyblush! Good things are beginning to happen for me with my collecting - I do see Focus....and I've also sold enough dolls and parts....to buy a laptop without using the house account! Go, me!

Well, the fall down the stairs has definitely set me back. I just feel like I'm not catching a break with this situation. And I'm sick to the death of talking about it, thinking about it, whinging about it....I seriously used to be a Healthy Person. Damn.

Tattoos. I feel an essay rant/exploration brewing. Mmmm...."rant" isn't really fair....I'm using ranty feelings to shake out the excess thoughts and get to the core of what I want to say. We did watch "The Mark of Cain" this week. Fascinating stuff.

The Death of Bunny Munro I'm very very very very excited!!! (I know we will never see another AtAStA and I suppose that's why we have William Faulkner and Cormac McCarthy and Harry Crews...) But anything from the wicked pen of Cave is enough for me. Truly. Well, except Nocturama. But anything else. Can't wait. He keeps threatening - now that he's in his 50's - to retire musically and write. This book might make or break that dream.

Feeling more centred and grounded than yesterday. The Panel outline is almost complete. The goods For Sale almost all sorted and packed. My own clothes agonized over long enough and chosen. The Viking went to town on a small errand and came home with new tires on the Volvo!!! Sweet! I think he went out of his way because yesterday morning I fell down the stairs. I'm trying to forget it, although my leg is trying to not let me....I've definitely set myself back...but things will remain to be seen. Sunday I would have said that surgery isn't necessarily an option any longer - I was feeling strong and really good, but not now. Sigh.

Gazing in stupendous wonder upon a Zaoll....led me to the newish Souldoll boys. *gives flist a hard look* Why have you been keeping Kanguk, Tae and Lee a secret???? Who has one of these guys??? Are they insanely cool or what? I want Kanguk or Tae in whiteskin....blank.... 

My WTB for new Dollshe is working....but not for Soom jointed hands. I did score a pair last night - but if anyone has a whiteskin pair or knows of a pair being sold - please let me know!

I'm also this close *holds up finger and thumb very close* to letting go of the SD17s. It's a wrenching decision because once they're gone, they're gone for good.

Not reading much - no time. I did pick up the graphic interp of the Looking Glass Wars and it's stupendously fun! Also, got Moore's Joker in yesterday's post. Watching Heroes.

You know that feeling...when there is just so much you want to do, you can feel it right there under the layers of your flesh, against your bones....Elementary school-aged children experience this acutely and it's actually a visible thing. They literally wriggle inside their skins....wanting to just explode out of chairs, out into the world, out into their Lives. But the world holds us in place with various and sundry, beginning even before elementary school....but school, I believe, forces us to learn Restraint. We are taught to contain all that energy and after years of this....we begin to interpret that Feeling as something to hold ourselves away from experiencing. Something to be Diverted.

I'm becoming overwhelmed with things that need to be accomplished this week and through the weekend and my diversion consists of:  reading fanfic, novel-length all the better, ripping cds and making mix discs, cleaning the bathroom, idly searching for four leaf clovers in the clover patch, compiling doll wish lists, staring into space considering new tattoos, thrift store shopping. Sigh. But I've now got to shake myself and Get To Work.

That is all.

Don’t take too long to think about it. Fifteen books you’ve read that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in 15 minutes. Copy the instructions into your own journal.

Lady Chatterley's Lover - DH Lawrence
The Last Temptation of Christ - Nikos Kazantzakis
Vellum - Hal Duncan
Possession - AS Byatt
The Four Quartets - TS Eliot
The Dubliners - James Joyce
As I Lay Dying - William Faulner
And the Ass Saw The Angel - Nick Cave
The Gospel Singer - Harry Crews
The Fountainhead - Ayn Rand
The Ebony Tower - John Fowles
All Men are Mortal - Simone de Beauvoir
And to Think That I Saw it on Mulberry Street - Dr. Seuss
Where the Red Fern Grows - Wilson Rawls
The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis

Just fifteen???? I can list off at least one hundred books that are part of me...

~***~

One week GoGa countdown! Wow!

( My to-do list )

Thanks for all the supportive comments on my ranty dollery post. I've calmed down and sold another complete doll and a head I had lingering and completed a trade that had me losing sleep. Those are good things. I think the main thing I need to focus on is, actually, Focus. After this many years and this many dolls, I do, in fact, know what I like and what works for me and what doesn't - so why do I keep ignoring that knowledge and jumping wilynily onto this or that resin bandwagon??? I've got a chibi goat on his way....and I'm thinking that is so not going to work for me either....I am actually beginning to see my way clear to a Focus that would include ONLY the tall thin Angels and Demons, wee Cherubim, and one Satyr....and not Gentlemen Eleganti, no harlequinns, no Beauty for Beauty's sake....We will see....

~***~

Oh, and  please FashionGods, please make men start wearing burns like these again. *whimpers*

The insanely talented sdink painted this boy....then traded him to me. Two Thournes.

( My current OTD (one true doll) )